Oh hey.

Quit studio again. This time I know better than to try and come back, because no matter how kind the professors and critics are- I'm just going to wind up going off my meds and entering a downward tailspin at some point. It seems to be a pattern.

And I had every advantage. And people gave me every chance to succeed. Except that whenever there was the slightest bit of pressure, I retreated inside a shell of despair. After all, it can't be my fault if failure was inevitable, right?

Probably going home, centering myself, getting back into daily exercise and cold showers, find myself a job and small apartment, possibly a cat.

Well I guess that's all well and good for now. I think I'm going to go make myself some... cheesewiches. Or hot dogs. something like that?

I'm DISTRESSED and need to consume VAST QUANTITIES OF FOOD.

wah.

And that just about sums it up. On multiple levels.